On Introversion

Robbo posts about a new book about introverts in business. (book link)

If you have read here (or at the old, now vanished, blog), then you know that I am a super-introvert. I think that Beau leans more to the extrovert side of things, although he's a more quiet and solitary sort of extrovert.

I've been thinking about the introvert vs extrovert thing a lot lately as I see these traits begin to fully manifest in our kids. I am nearly 100% certain that Jesse is an extrovert. And I'm at about 80% certain than Molly is an introvert.

If Jesse doesn't get out, see people, do something, then he becomes unhappy and intemperate enough that I think when puberty hits it'll be full on cranky. I know this is typical of his age, but he talks incessantly and he requires company at all times. He completely wears me out pretty quickly, I'll admit. My introverted personality that really goes into overload with too much noise and chaos, starts to move into cranky after about 30 minutes of what a typical 4-5 year old offers. I pray daily that I have supernatural patience and tolerance for it, because it is very hard to not just snap at him to be quiet and give me a few minutes of peace. Even when he's watching his favorite TV shows, he will call out to one of us to relay some piece of information about the show or run in to wherever we are to say it before running back so as not to miss anything. After an outing, Jesse is jazzed. He bounces off the walls with excitement so extreme at times that it takes several minutes to get him to calm down. In the classic extrovert definition, Jesse gets his energy from being out, with people.

Then there's Molly, who will sit quietly playing with whatever for anywhere from 20-40 minutes without saying a peep to anyone (except the toys, of course). She will watch TV without moving, sucking on her fingers and twirling her hair. She will sit at the kitchen table and quietly scribble or color without saying a word. Not that she doesn't talk - she is a little chatterbox, but only when she has something very important to tell you. She is classic introvert, who gets her energy in quiet and solitude. After an outing, she's ready for a nap. I'm so with her.

Parenting such different kids will be interesting. I'm looking forward to and sort of dreading how the hormonal changes of puberty will impact these aspect of their personalities. Will they be magnified? Mellowed? And will our parenting have any impact on them?

I will say this, knowing this about them will help. It will help to know that Jesse is cranky because he needs to go out. Or Molly is tired because she was just at a large gathering of people. What will help both of them is that they seem to be outgoing, gregarious people - in their own ways, they love to engage with other people, but how they do so will be fun to watch.